you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
