but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
