where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
