Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
