i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i drank out of a bidet.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
