this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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