I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
