Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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