Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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