Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
