He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
