Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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