So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize