I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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