butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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