I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
