you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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