He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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