Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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