Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
