I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
