So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
