Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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