I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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