Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
