she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
