so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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