So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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