sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Randomize
