My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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