Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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