Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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