my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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