Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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