Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
