my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
