What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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