Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
is wine microwaveable?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
