what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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