dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
