You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
