Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
