so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We talked him into tasing himself.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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