I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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