i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
