I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
