i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
