There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
