I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
