hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
