Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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