Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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