Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
