you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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