I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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