I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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