I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
